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Do people not think before they speak??? Rant ahead

September 10th, 2012 at 02:59 pm

I have two children starting band this year. Both decided to play the trumpet. One child is 15 and the other is 11. I looked on Craigslist and other like sites for several weeks and came up with nothing. Anyway, a friend mentioned a site to me that sells inexpensive music instruments and I ended up ordering two trumpets along with some other items. I researched this particular trumpet and it had good reviews.

At the school my youngest attends they were having a "horn drive" as they call it. A music store comes to the school to sell instruments and wow, if you can't afford it you can rent to own. Ah, no! Really???
He told his instructor that I had ordered one online and it was in transit. She asked what kind and he told her. She then said "Tell your mom those are cheap. They are not worth anything and for me to not even open the box and send it back." I cannot believe she would say this to my child! Who does she think she is? He was upset by her comment and voiced his concern over what she had said. He relayed that she wanted me to call her. I called and left a message. No call back and it's been over a week. He came home another day and said I was supposed to call her and I told him that she has my number if it's such a big concern.

Sorry about the rant, but am I overreacting?

10 Responses to “Do people not think before they speak??? Rant ahead”

  1. laura Says:


    I would let it go. Feeding into the frenzy of the comment will just further upset your child. I am appalled at the things grown-ups say (to my own children included) and have learned that if I make more out of things, my child's emotions are riled up more than they need to be. Your calmness and finding humor at the situation will neutralize the negativity of the situation.

    As the parent of a second-year trumpet playing 11 year old, I will admit that we are doing a rent-to-own option at $24 a month. This is a pretty basic beginner trumpet. We are also a second generation, trumpet-playing family and in my brother's day, he was classically trained by a member of the Tommy Dorsey band. My brother played a Salieri valued at over $2K 25 years ago. I imagine that as in anything, there is a wide range for "tools of the trade."

  2. ceejay74 Says:

    It sounds like this teacher is not letting it go, unfortunately, so if she does end up getting in touch with you, I'd just let her know (as calmly and neutrally as possible) that this is the trumpet you can afford, so to please stop making it an issue for the child.

  3. Momma23 Says:

    I can actually afford a "better" trumpet, I just don't choose to spend a lot of money on a trumpet for either child at this time. I want to see if they stick with it first. We all know how that can go... Wink

  4. CB in the City Says:

    Unless the school is providing the instruments, they have no right to pronounce judgments on the quality of the instruments. When I was in school, I started out on a very cheap flute, and went to all-state band with it. Later on, my parents invested in a better one. But no one was ever unkind enough to make me ashamed of my first flute. Times have changed!

  5. ceejay74 Says:

    Nevertheless, it would hopefully shut her up about buying a fancier one. Wink

  6. creditcardfree Says:

    Rent to own is pretty common for student instruments. It is the way I bought my girls flutes. The nice thing about the plan we had, was that you could cancel the entire contract, return the flute and not owe anymore if the child no longer wanted to play. Once each girl was established, I paid the flute off in full.

    I think teachers want band to be a good experience and feel that an inferior instrument add more frustration if it doesn't hold up to the stress student flutes receive...however, I think your child's teacher was completely wrong in their approach!

  7. Joan.of.the.Arch Says:

    Wow. I mean, oh dear.

  8. Momma23 Says:

    My son showed his intructor his trumpet today and she replied "If it works for ya, okay."

  9. laura Says:


    My thoughts on this are: I would contact the band instructors supervisor to let them know about her demeanor. She should in no way make your child feel bad about his trumpet. I'd have no contact with the woman, but she needs a definite lesson in kindness.

  10. Jerry Says:

    What?! Where was the "If it works for ya, OK" comment when this whole issue first came up, I wonder? Maybe the teacher was having a crappy day and it just lead her to take it out on a kid. Lame, but possible. Still, it would be good for the kid to have some insurance that the teacher isn't busting on his/her instrument from Day One. I hope it has blown over now!
    Jerry

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